‘Oh Shit…’
.
This world is f*@#ed up
when our young men and women
when our black men and women
when our racialized men and women
are told to behave or be shot
like they’re not worth a whole lot
are told where to put their hands
how to hold their heads
which words to use or not
.
like it’s somehow their fault for being
for walking down the street
for driving to the mall
for sleeping in their beds
for jogging down the road
.
like they’re othered
and not allowed to be afraid
and not allowed to mess up
or mis-step
the way a white man can
.
and parents try to teach their kids
the impossible, ever-changing rules
of how to make themselves small
in the presence of police
.
and parents try not to show the fear
they feel each time their child
steps outside the door
.
they are not even rules
they are the arbitrary whims
of whoever is inventing the code that day
they are the sum of fears and refusal to care
.
no wonder the black body is terrified
to be stopped by the cops
to be expected to know the dance
that is waiting to be choreographed
.
the dance they know might end
in a river of blood
in a severing of oxygen
.
‘Shit, I just shot him!’
Taser / Gun
Gun / Taser
it’s not like mixing up salt and pepper
.
there is no ‘silly me!’
no ‘oops, my bad!’
no chance to start the conversation over
.
there is no life left
in the one who fled the rising danger
unarmed, unheard, unprotected
.
what happened to talking it out?
why this quick lunge for hate?
.
there are answers standing right here
in front of us
about history
about slavery
about racism engraved across generations
.
we are all witness to this never-ending horror
we are all listeners to this gut-wrenching narrative
why does it feel like we’re walking underwater
where no one can clearly see or hear?
.
I want to spill my blood in apology
I want to shed my white entitled skin
I want to stand between you and the gun
.
I raise my hands and cry out loud
‘WHY REACH FOR HATE WHEN WE CAN REACH FOR LOVE ?’
by Carys Owen
Carys Owen Poetry 